Memoirs of a Former Mystic
What people are saying:
"Unlike anything you
have ever read before"
The Bali Blog series
is not complete yet.
I am currently working
on Part 6, so stay tuned!
I've written many blogs but the series about my time in Bali, Indonesia, when my radical changes took place, is what has garnered the most curiosity and acclaim. In it, I share everything about that process from beginning to end and in great detail, so that others can get to know me and better understand what I am about.
My Bali Blog series is an exploration of my own personal confusion towards rational thinking that has helped myself and others to see our own cognitive dissonance. It exposes the many things that we hide from ourselves and why.
I highly suggest to read the blogs in order, from part 1 to 5. Otherwise, it will be hard to understand the content.
I myself am shocked to realize that I had no idea how conditioned and problematic my spiritual beliefs were until I wrote these blogs; how they affected every aspect of my life and created so many unnecessary problems, making me so afraid to even dare to think or imagine my life and who I was without them. I can see now the contradictions I had to want to understand, watching these elements fight within me, planting mine fields of self-destruction in my mind when I forced myself to think without spiritual beliefs that acted like a drug for me, often times taking over my mind and thinking for me.
How could I get myself to stop protecting these beliefs? Such a question led me to understand why others are so keen to choose irrationality over logic when it comes to their ideologies. It's one of the many reasons that led to me speaking up about why I am so concerned about the New Age movement and the dangers of these beliefs.
I would describe my changes as a massive tidal wave; a tsunami sweeping me and everything I was familiar with away. I honestly do not think I would have made it had I not learned how to surf my psyche.
You would think the tidal wave would be the worst of it, right? So did I. I can say it’s not the case. You can ask people who have experienced a massive tsunami or any natural disaster and they will tell you the worst part is actually the aftermath; dealing with the dramatic shift, and in my case the psychological changes.
How does one go on after something like that? What next? It’s not like one can go back to how things used to be and forget it ever happened; the experience echoes in your bones. It’s futile and insane to rebuild the old and familiar in your psyche and to encourage former hopes and beliefs. Especially because it often is what beckoned and fuelled the tsunami to begin with. When you get to the root, you must start completely new so as not to recreate the past.
Ha! Easier said than done!
So, these blogs are also an invitation and challenge to detect what is confusion and what is fact. To have people ask themselves: Are my beliefs thinking for me?
It becomes more apparent and easy to pinpoint and reduce one's conditioned thinking when one finishes the whole series in order. Then, one can see their own results on how they scored with detecting and exploring their own cognitive biases.
Best of luck.
Enjoy and please let me know what you think :-)
These blogs are here available for free and accessible to everyone. If you enjoyed reading them and feel they are worth being published in the form of books, please consider making a donation. Finishing writing Part 6 and editing the whole series is a considerable work that will surely benefit from your support.
I have been keeping journals all my life and I started publishing online blogs when I was 23. I write all of them in my head first. People are surprised when they hear that, but to me it's natural. I do not honestly know how to write any other way. The blogs really do have a mind of their own.
In the past, writing a blog took me two days to two weeks. The more I delved deeper into my de-conditioning process, the longer they started to take. Part 5 took me three months and I've been working on Part 6 for two years now! Also, they grew from 10 pages length to over 200! I don't know if I can call them blogs any more, hence I now call them memoirs, am working on turning them into books.
If you’re curious about my adventures before my transition, they can be found on my blog site. In these older blogs, I was caught up into lots of New Age thinking and those writings can reveal how much I have actually changed. They are now rather embarrassing to me but I think they are a testimonial of how many New-Agers think.
- Wow! SO much happens in these blogs, it is so powerful and truly mind blowing.
As reading, it makes one start to REALLY Think and Question ALL that they believe,
and start to see the insanity of the programs running us and provides the opening
for REAL Understanding of what we individually & collectively struggle with.
I could NOT put it down and read all of Part 2 from 1-4:30am, it was amazing.
Now to read the entire thing over a few times, it's FULL of gems for Dismantling!!!
THANK YOU for sharing so much of yourself too.
- I would see this blog as a turning point in your relationship with yourself and with others.
You break all the fences and you let us see into your experience in a really honest
and fresh way. I think it is really sincere and we can feel how you feel
and we share this trip/journey with you. It is also funny by multiple times and sometimes
it's like having a glimpse of the little girl in you.
- I loved these blogs, they are long but well worth the read. They are so addicting that
after a while you forget how long they are and get upset when the end of
the blog parts are reached. I see now how detrimental is the New (c)Age. Really.
People, want to feel better to hide their insecurities, and wear a mask of love
and light. Once you expose them, they get really upset and offended.
As you said before, love can be so destructive!
Anyway, I'm looking forward to reading more. The thing that was most surprising,
is how people protect themselves with their fears, I know it sounds contradictory,
but we often do that. We know that we are getting somewhere with our inner discovery,
and when it gets uncomfortable, we allow the fear to take over again
(and it protect us in the form of a New Age dogma, religion, program, etc.)
It seems that we are in a constant pendulum, we are so fragile, and we could fall
at any moment from one belief to another. We do not want to feel uncomfortable,
and we'll do whatever to avoid that. Unless, we get "messy" and we start cleaning up
all the toxic beliefs in our mind, nothing will change. The soil of our mind, once is being
cleaned up becomes a fertile environment for observation and evolution.
- I really enjoyed these blog. My favourites so far are Blog 3, 4 and especially 5 as you dig deeper and show more of what we cannot see.
- I am only maybe a one fifth of the way through this and there are already four or five things
I was dying to cut and paste in a share. It's incredible. It pains me that I'm going to have
to put it away in a few minutes for another time. Frown :(
I stayed up all night reading them. Your idea of 'blog post' is pretty unusual, lol. I am so amazed by so many aspects of this little book you've written. In a way, I feel EOF isn't really complete without this perspective that you're providing through the blogs. It's like, the orientations are only telling part of the story but the story seems much more complete when we also see it through your eyes; your personal process of dismantling, your inquiries.
I am humbled and amazed at your honesty, willingness to lay bare that part of your mind
that you are learning to be free from. It's clear how much pain and difficulty is involved
with confronting this head-on. I'm not sure I would be strong enough.